“A legion of horribles, hundreds in number, half naked or clad in costumes attic or biblical or wardrobed out of a fevered dream with the skins of animals and silk finery and pieces of uniform still tracked with the blood of prior owners, coats of slain dragoons, frogged and braided cavalry jackets, one in a stovepipe hat and one with an umbrella and one in white stockings and a bloodstained wedding veil and some in headgear or cranefeathers or rawhide helmets that bore the horns of bull or buffalo and one in a pigeontailed coat worn backwards and otherwise naked and one in the armor of a Spanish conquistador, the breastplate and pauldrons deeply dented with old blows of mace or sabre done in another country by men whose very bones were dust and many with their braids spliced up with the hair of other beasts until they trailed upon the ground and their horses’ ears and tails worked with bits of brightly colored cloth and one whose horse’s whole head was painted crimson red and all the horsemen’s faces gaudy and grotesque with daubings like a company of mounted clowns, death hilarious, all howling in a barbarous tongue and riding down upon them like a horde from a hell more horrible yet than the brimstone land of Christian reckoning, screeching and yammering and clothed in smoke like those vaporous beings in regions beyond right knowing where the eye wanders and the lip jerks and drools.”
I’m pretty sure when Cormac McCarthy wrote the passage above for Blood Meridian he was actually describing the members of Congress who voted yesterday to allow ISPs to sell customer browsing history.
That’s also got to be the longest single sentence I’ve ever seen. Holy cow!
When you’re writing a positioning statement, look for opportunities to remove words to make it shorter and more punchy.
I’ve seen a few good positioning statements that use the word “and”, but not many. Usually the word “and” in a positioning statement means you’re shrinking back from being 100% clear about your ideal client or what you do for them.
Want help improving your positioning or marketing? I offer a small group program to help you do exactly that: http://positioningacceleratorprogram.com
Talk to you soon,