Things are getting weird

Philip Morgan

Things are getting a bit weird here in Sonoma County.

In a town called Healdsburg, a bit north of where I live, some kooky shit has been going down.

Healdsburg is a fun little town to visit. If you're ever in the area, check it out.

Most everybody you see on the street is partially or completely drunk, but in the way that polite people do drunk. They seem really happy as they walk from wine tasting room to wine tasting room.

There's a pretty great Mexican restaurant there called Mateo's you should definitely check out.

Anyway, an 800-pound hammer recently disappeared without a trace in Healdsburg.

The hammer looks like this:

800-lb hammer

It's a sculpture, obviously. And somebody nicked it in the dark of the night!

Here's where it gets weird/funny.

A few days ago, where the hammer used to be, a giant metal nail, with the word "bait" inscribed on it, appeared in the place where the hammer used to be.

The nail looks like this:

bait nail

I love mysteries like this!

I know the artist who made the hammer and the organization it was loaned to are all bummed.

But man, imagining the life of the person who organized this heist is just so fun for me.

How did they cook up this scheme?

How did they prepare to lift, transport, and store an 800-lb hammer sculpture?

Did they have some kind of specific message they hoped to send? Perhaps they've been nursing some kind of long-term beef with either the artist who made the sculpture, the organization where the sculpture was sitting, or the whole damn town of Healdsburg? Or perhaps they have a variation of kleptomania that only flares up when they see larger than life sculptures of everyday objects?

Were they willing to go to jail over this? Or pay a fine? If caught, will they be forced to issue an apology?

Did they organize a team? Was it an Ocean's 11/12/8-style effort to put together the team?

What kind of day-job does the getaway driver have? Is he/she an amateur race car driver on the weekends? Or are they more like a bored airport shuttle bus driver wanting some excitement late in life?

Is the mastermind behind this scheme going to try to fence the hammer? Sell it to a shady contact in the Los Angeles underground who will ship it in a container with forged docs to a cartel connection in Central America? (Yes, I've been binge-watching Better Call Saul.) Maybe display it in a dorm room the way you'd do with a stolen road sign?

Was a really well-organized Burner getting their art project for next year's Burning Man ready well ahead of time? (overachiever!)

Anyway, it's a mystery! Mysteries can be fun.

Is there any mystery for you about how you could move from coder to consultant? If so, I'd be happy to help: /services/

I'll keep you updated as this very important stolen-hammer story develops. ;)